Stephen Hays
Sep 17, 2024
Addiction is like the wind: you can’t see the wind, but you can see the effects of the wind. The disease of addiction isn’t like having the flu or a broken ankle. There are no obvious signs of illness. There is no sharp, shooting pain that keeps you from walking, and addiction will not appear on an X-ray or MRI.
Addiction is an invisible illness, and like the visible effects of the wind, you can see the impact addiction has on a person and their world. In 2018, I was very sick with addiction and needed help, however I was unwilling to admit it. I needed treatment, but I couldn’t see it. However, I could see my life spiraling out of control due to my addiction. Those unmanageable side effects of addiction are what ultimately led me to get help.
In 2018, I was falsely accused of a crime that DNA evidence later proved I did not commit. The charges were eventually dismissed, clearing my name. But not before I endured five years of public shame, humiliation and pain created by headlines that have been proven false. However, that pain finally drove me to get the help I needed, and I’m forever grateful for even the most painful parts of my journey.
In September 2018, I checked into rehab at The Meadows in Wickenburg, Arizona. My time at The Meadows saved my life and gave me a foundation upon which to build an entirely different life, a sober life. I was given an incredible education in mental health and addiction with a focus on the neuroscience behind what drove me to that place. The Meadows is truly a special place, it saved my life, just as it has for so many thousands of others for nearly five decades.
Shortly after completing my treatment, I wrote a blog post about my struggles with addiction. Many people reached out to me and encouraged me to tell my story more broadly. They also pushed me to find purpose by combining my personal journey with my professional background in finance. With this inspiration, I launched a venture capital firm called WhatIf Ventures to invest in mental health and addiction-focused startups. Over time, that focus has grown to include disruptive healthcare, stigmatized healthcare, and startups outside of the healthcare space while collaborating with some of the top venture funds in the world at various stages.
Having found a sense of purpose, I spent most of 2019 trying to raise a $20 million venture capital fund to invest in mental health startups. Though I met with countless polite, attentive investors, they consistently told me that I couldn’t raise money because I was fresh out of rehab. However, a dozen investors did agree to join me in a one-time deal through a special purpose vehicle (SPV).
This led to the launch of What If Ventures as a venture investing syndicate in January 2020. As a group of twelve investors we made our first investment into the seed round of Foresight Mental Health. Foresight is a mental health care delivery platform providing a range of therapy, psychiatry and other services for multiple mental health indications. After we invested, Foresight was able to raise additional capital from some of the best investors in the world including Sequoia, Polaris Partners, Jazz Ventures among others.
Over the next few years, some incredible founders took a chance on What If Ventures by letting us invest in their startups. People like Michael Smith (Co-Founder of Calm), Tom Insel (Psychiatrist-Neuroscientist, Author, Entrepreneur, and MentalHealth Advocate), and Russ Glass (Headspace CEO at the time) also encouraged me early on to grow the fund. They also spoke at What If Fellowship events over the years and have been mentors to me.
After our initial success, investors began telling friends about us. Through mostly word of mouth, our list of engaged investors has grown to over 4,000 people. Thanks to the collective efforts of all those involved in getting What If Ventures off the ground, we now have a well-funded platform to support the mental health startup ecosystem
In just the last four years, What If Ventures has accomplished the following:
Grew the Disruptive Healthcare newsletter to over 4,200 subscribers, including founders and investors who read our regular valuation and market reports on the disruptive healthcare market.
Like many people facing addiction, I required extreme pain to get help. But for me, the pain was worth it. Today, I am blessed with a life I never deserved. My wife, Christine, saved my life and our family by getting me to rehab in 2018. I’m proud to say that we now have three beautiful, healthy children: two boys and a baby girl.
In my family, I found the ultimate dopamine hit. The high I was searching for in substances was never good enough. Then, after getting sober, I found what I was looking for in raising three incredible children. Our two boys love God and sports and are intellectually curious. Our baby girl loves to chase me around the house with her tennis racket, hitting anything she can find. None of this was possible without first passing through the dark days 2018.
But don’t let the pretty pictures fool you. I’m still a work in progress, with as many setbacks as successes. Every day, I fight to stick to my recovery program, pursue dependence on God, process my resentments, and regulate my nervous system. I get it wrong just as often as I get it right, but I hope to accomplish the following:
For much of my adult life, I hid from my emotions, numbing painful feelings with alcohol and controlled substances. Instead of learning from those experiences and maturing as an adult, I stunted my personal and emotional development in my teenage years.
But at age 38, I removed alcohol from my life and discovered I had the emotional intelligence of an 18-year-old. While I’ve made quite a bit of progress in the last six years, I still have a long way to go. One of the most complex parts of getting sober has been learning how out-of-practice I am in processing those emotions.
The road ahead seems long sometimes, but it also motivates me to find recovery solutions for people like me. I haven’t figured this all out. However, I have an insatiable curiosity to understand myself and embrace my role as a test subject for mental health solutions.
I’ve tried countless solutions as both a patient and an investor. Some work for me, some work for others, and some don’t work at all. I don’t invest in any solution I can’t see working for me or the people I’m close to within the recovery community.
It would be an understatement to say that my journey has not been easy. There are still times when someone throws false accusations from my past in my face to hurt me in business, keep my kids off a baseball team, or because someone sees it as a way to gain an advantage over me for one reason or another.
This is what stigma looks like for those of us living in recovery. Often, it feels like people pay lip service to “fighting stigma” but then turn right around and stigmatize someone in recovery. I often feel like I earned this stigma, but then I have to remind myself that it’s unfair to be stigmatized and being thought of as a person defined by my worst moments does not reflect my life now. I want other people living in recovery to know that it is normal to face these challenges. You are not alone, and there is hope.
One thing the recovery community has taught me is that even though I have been sober for six years, my journey is just beginning. I don’t know what the future holds for What If Ventures, which of our companies will succeed or fail, how far my kids will make it in sports, or what they will do with their lives. And for the first time, I’m okay with not knowing. Sobriety has allowed me to “let go and let God”, as they say.
Instead of worrying about the future, I focus on what I can control today. I will work my sobriety program, help others doing the same, and pursue funding solutions that make the human experience better for people like me.
If you would like to join me or support our efforts in any way, then please reach out via email. Founders and investors who have an interest in the mental health space can reach out to me directly any time via info@whatif.vc.
I hope to hear from you!
Sincerely,
Stephen Hays
